Travel hopefully in life.

Fuck Yeah Friday!

It's Fuck Yeah Friday again, and y'all...I think it's time I publicly admit my inexplicable attraction to Jesse Eisenberg. I don't really understand it myself, but there's something about his squinty milquetoast charm that just works for me.

Anyway, I mention Jesse Eisenberg as ham-fisted and upsetting segue into my FYF today: Wes Craven's Cursed, a 2005 movie about werewolves starring emo!Jesse Eisenberg and Christina Ricci's tiniest eyebrows to date, plus a bunch of people whose faces you'll recognize from other things.



Without giving away too many spoilers, Cursed follows the tale of siblings Ellie and Jimmy Myers, who hit a big mystery animal on a Los Angeles highway at night, run another car off the road, and then witness a woman being brutally torn to shreds by (presumably) the same mystery animal, which gets a couple of good swipes in at them for good measure. As I'm sure you can guess, they immediately start experiencing some alarming and spooky changes.

Ellie, who's a repressed workaholic type introduced to us via a scene that takes great pains to really hammer home her intimacy issues, struggles to make sense of what's happening to her and fights to keep the beast under control while her nerdy kid brother Jimmy is pretty sure from the outset that they're dealing with a Wolf Man situation and decides to put his newfound strength and sex appeal to work for him. Not in a creepy way, thank God, though there are more than a handful of cheesecake moments in the movie throughout. Mostly Jimmy uses his recently developed superpowers to competently flirt with the girl he's had a crush on for the last three years and stick it to the jock who's been bullying him (played by the always delightful Milo Ventimiglia), who coincidentally happens to be said girl's shitty boyfriend.

There's a lot wrong with Cursed, considering that the studio completely revamped the film after Wes Craven finished his cut. So much so that the final product is almost entirely changed from the original movie script. (If you're a big nerd like me, you might enjoy reading the original after you watch the theatrical release—click here for a copy*.) But it's still fun in the vein of so many terrible B-horror films, most of which I love very dearly. A few of the phenomenal practical werewolf effects made it into the final cut, and the CGI that the studio shoehorned actually holds up pretty well fifteen years on, even if it renders both styles of effect disparate by virtue of appearing side-by-side with each other on-screen.

Plus, it gave us a werewolf flipping the bird:



Hard to hate a flick that provides such and absolutely fantastic reaction image, am I right? So that's my entry into the books for today's FYF.

What's making you say, "Fuck yeah!" today, friends?

*Script link courtesy of this post over on The Horror Syndicate, which is also a really good run-down of what went wrong from initial shooting to theatrical release for those who are interested.

Fuck Yeah, Friday!


Hale and well met, internet fellows! I welcome you to the new and improved version of Fuck Yeah Friday!, a weekly celebration of things in the world that are making folks stoked to be alive and a part of it all.

I'm going to continue my tradition of raving about something I love, but I want this to be a more interactive experience so I encourage you to share something you're excited about in the comments! It can be as simple as a word, or you can link to your own FYF! promo post on your own blog, whatever. I just want to share some love and learn about some cool new shit.

( My Fuck Yeah Friday! topic this week is: Savannah, Georgia. )


Now tell me what you're excited about! EVERY. LAST. THING!!!

I very nearly forgot about this today, so forgive me if my post isn't as robust as a Fuck Yeah Friday! might usually be.

Anyway, today I want to talk about bees. Specifically, a few species in the genus Trigona, which is the largest genus of stingless bees. Of the eighty species that comprise Trigona, many of them consume meat in addition to flower nectar and pollen, but only four of them—Trigona crassipes, Trigona necrophaga, Trigona hypogea robustior, and Trigona hypogea hypogea, according to Wikipedia—are colloquially known as "vulture bees." Wikipedia being what it is, I would have to do considerably more research before I felt comfortable calling all of these species out as the vulture bee (or even as bonafide species at all) but I found a very cool paper on Trigona hypogea that confirms and details their feeding process and diet which largely consists of, you guessed it: dead animals!

That's right, y'all! These bees are mainly carnivorous. Not to be confused with wasps, who also eat meat but are, by and large, assholes—though I am reluctantly coming to regard them with a certain amount of grudging respect as I fall deeper into the bee-based entomology hole that is my life. It is the tragedy of my life that I don't have a close-up photograph of these metal bastards to share with you, but I'm going to tell you about their eating habits in explicit detail instead to make up for it.

Trigona hypogea process the flesh they consume in the same way that other Apidae process pollen, breaking it down with a mandibular/salivary secretion and storing it internally until they can get it back to the hive, regurgitate it, and stash it in capped cells for later use. While most species of bee possess a "pollen basket"—a flat patch surrounded by hairs which hold pollen granules in place—on their rear legs, Trigona hypogea instead have five sharp teeth on their mandibles that allow them to rend flesh. Yes, you read that right: these bees have teeth!

As in most social beehives made up of species other than honey bees, Trigona hypogea store just enough honey to ensure the survival of the hive, which means that, unfortunately, there will be no harvesting of meat honey. And yes, believe it or not, there's a chance that you would actually be able to consume meat honey if enough of it existed not to doom the hive to a premature and terrible death! When bees make honey, they combine dehydrated flower nectar with a cocktail of bee-specific enzymes that render it essentially immune to decay.

Raw honey lasts forever, and is antimicrobial enough to be used for wound care in a pinch. I'm not a doctor or any kind of medical professional, but there are plenty of papers out there on honey being used to treat MRSA and staph infections if you'd like to get into the nitty gritty o-chem details, and I have personally used it to treat minor cuts to great effect. (No scabbing or scarring! Very wild experience.) You should absolutely not replace modern antibacterial creams, gels, or other products recommended by trained healthcare professionals with honey, and under no circumstances should you use the honey you get in the bear-shaped bottle at the grocery store for anything other than sweetening your tea or tossing directly into the garbage because it's the worst.

All of which to say: the chances are that meat honey would be likewise safe from bacterial contamination and therefore edible, although I can't imagine that it would taste great. ....I still kind of want to try it, though.

Anyway, bees are incredible creatures and their evolutionary variation and biological diversity even within their taxonomic set of family traits is absolutely fascinating. You will likely see more bee profiles from me in the future, but for now take comfort in the knowledge that the vulture bee is out there at this very moment, scouring the tropics of the North American continent for its next ghastly meal.

For those of you who want to know more about bees, or at least to look at cool bee photos, I've also stumbled onto a couple of really excellent taxonomic collective websites this week that are worth perusing:

Anthophila - an online repository of bee diversity

and

York University's bee genera image bank

ETA: In my endeavors to dig up a series of entomologist-quality bee species identification cards for myself, I ran across a very excellent free PDF of general bee ID cards for anyone who's interested in being able to spot these beauties at a distance while out for casual walks and really freak your family out in the process. You can find the cards here!